A Monster in Disguise

It turns out I have a talent to bring the worst out of people. I can turn saints into sinners. I can make them abandon their beliefs and principles. I.. am powerful enough.. to do all that! Without even knowing what I am doing.. without the intention.. I do it unknowingly, and that is the worst part.

When someone does it knowingly, with prior intentions to ruin someone, then they are evil, but they are in contol. But if I do it without knowing or noticing what I'm doing until its already done, its worse because there isn't a way backwards. Once its done, its done. And once you realise it you also have this huge and heavy regret and pain pressuring your heart and soul. 

The time it really hurts, is when you do it to someone you really love and care about, you love them for their purity, for their beliefs, for their principles, the same things that you ruined unintentionally. 

I don't know how I can come back knowing this now. I don't think I can come back from this actually.. I'm a monster, and a I need to learn if I can be tamed, but I need to make sure I don't hurt anyone while learning this. Either I do it safely, or I stay away from anyone I could hurt, and I don't learn or progress. I thought I was in control, but I'm not. I'm not even close.